Thoughts....and more thoughts ;-)
First Valentine, outside Pinas that is. New environment but still the same, old me. I’m not gonna bitch about how all lovers can go to hell but just for the reason that I have spare time to kill and luckily, my desk is clear and so I’m writing. And I kind of miss it too.
I’m not the type who thinks valentines day is overrated. Whenever I see hearts or red balloons, I’d get reminded that sure, I’d want to receive flowers as well. But unfortunately (for-a-lack-of-a-better-term) I still do not have that “someone” just yet.
I recall the last time I received roses. Long stemmed, and a dozen of ‘em. It was one of those “kilig” at first sight moments. The card didn’t say who it was from, maybe it’s the usual deal, you know for more pa-kilig moments. But at that time, it didn’t matter who the roses are from. I was too kilig to have received flowers. Not too mention my favorite.
It was from the boyfriend. You know the type who you wouldn’t think would actually go to a flower shop and book for a delivery. Ofcourse knowing that it was from someone you care made it all the more special.
Now fast forward and I find difficulty trying to recall the last time I get to be asked out on a date on valentines day. Not that it makes me a loser of some sort. Valentines isn’t just for couples. Yeah, yeah, ‘course we all know that “valentines is suppose to be like a celebration of love, any form of love” thingy but somehow, for some reason, people and places made it look like a something special event for couples- married or unmarried or yet-to-be married.
Feb 14 is Feb 14. Just like any other regular day in the middle east. Just like Christmas where you could not smell nor see nor hear nor feel the spirit. Ofcourse, there are restaurants who puts up special promos but I’d like to think its just an excuse for an “unreasonably-priced dinner for two” that if and when you take a second look and try to do the math in your head, is in fact overly priced but you still go in and dine because its valentines anyway.
Going back, vday was spent drinking and dancing in the company of good friends. It’s still a celebration anyway, only that of kind of love you have with friends. And for us, it was just another decent excuse to dress up and put something nice on, and yeah, to get drunk as well (as if we need one, lol).
For the longest time since I do-not-know-when, I get to be asked on date. On valentines day itself. Not by the Lebanese crush but by that Yugoslavian guy over the bar. Nothing too formal, just “where do you plan to take me… I don’t know maybe coffee?” thingy. Yeah right, coffee. Several events from the past made the sound of “coffee” too awkward for me. But this one is different methinks. A coffee date sounds cute, doesn’t it? After 48 years I get to be asked on a real coffee date. Who would’ve thought? After 48 years and I chickened out. I blew it off. I (intentionally) missed his call so I texted the “I was too sloshed last night and today I’m paying the price, so yeah, I can’t see you tonight” lame excuse.
I guess that’s the problem with me. When I get to be asked on a formal date by someone I barely know, I get that “I’m not that into him” vibe but when I get to be asked for “coffee” after having consumed not too many bottles of beer by someone not too random, you’ll know where I usually end up. Such a shame.
Three years of hiatus is enough. Not that I’m getting tired of all the fun and thrill of anonymity. But for once, definitely a surprise for me too, I want something serious. Not for reel but something for real. I’d like to think that I’m too young to worry about that stuff but yeah, another just for once, I’d love to have a company. You know that someone who will consistently be there, someone whom you don’t have to share with anybody, and finally someone who can look over you, not from a distant but somewhere you know is just within your reach. =)